Paradise
by justareader13
Summary: Bonnie and Damon have had a rich full journey on their time away and when they are brought back Bonnie gets the answer to the question of whether paradise is a place or really a person. Post 5x22 (Not the most apt summary, I kind of just wrote but it's good enough.)


_**I DISCLAIM ER'THING AND ER'BODY.**_

**Just something I was inspired to write. I haven't written Bamon in a while now but the season finale had me hyperventilating and nearly in tears. This was actually inspired by some fanart I saw on tumblr which you can see at this link: .com (/) post (/) 91083060289 (/) because (-) you (-) asked (-) so (-) nicely. It's a lovely, gorgeous, feels inducing drawing.**

**This oneshot includes obviously lots of bamon, some steroline and baroline, a good undertone of defan with the obligatory mentions of delena and beremy. Post 5x22.**

They had been back for two weeks now. They'd found that four years had passed, four years of them in what was basically paradise. It was everything Bonnie loved. In the daytime the sky was cloudy because Sheila knew Bonnie loved to watch the white puffs pass in the sky and try to make out what shapes they looked like. The sunset was slower than normal, so slow you could make out exactly what colors the sky was turning in the exact second it turned because Sheila knew Bonnie loved sunsets and hadn't gotten to watch enough of them ever since she found out about her power. The world the witch and human lived in (because Bonnie was a witch again and in that world Damon reverted to being human), was mostly forest and grass and nature which of course appealed to Bonnie's witch side and made her feel right at home.

The two lived in a cabin in the woods. It was homey with the smell of mint of gingerbread permeating the air just like at her Grams' house when she was still alive. The floors were cherry wood because Bonnie loved it but there was also plush carpets in the house because Bonnie liked sinking her toes in it sometimes. The kitchen was fully stocked with food and had a stove, toaster and microwave but no dishwasher because Bonnie liked doing it herself. There was only one bedroom because it was just supposed to be Bonnie in this world, this world made specifically for her, so at first Damon slept on the couch until things changed between them. It was a slow burn. Damon hadn't been as accepting of their fate as Bonnie had been, he wanted to fight to get back to Elena because he made her a promise. However, in the solitude of mint and gingerbread Damon had come to a realization that had startled him in its obviousness and simplicity: he missed Stefan more than he missed Elena. Bonnie had given him a 'duh' look when he had said it one day like he was the slow one, and maybe he was, but that realization just made him want to fight harder to get back home. Bonnie was different.

She was content with her afterlife. Her previous afterlife was filled with just following her loved ones around, watching them live their lives not knowing she was dead and with them and occasionally have a conversation with Jeremy. Then she watched Damon fight to bring her back only for her to inevitably die again. Bonnie came to a startling conclusion on her own in that world: she should've left Jeremy dead instead of trying to bring him back. The truth was she had come to realize how little regard she had for her own life in terms of it's value against Elena's. Somehow she had decided within herself that she wasn't worth her own concern. Her mom abandoned her, her father chose work over her more times than not, she was always third choice after Elena and Caroline and somehow she figured that if she just constantly threw herself under the bus for this girl, this girl who hadn't really given back any of what Bonnie had given her since she didn't even know how long, she would somehow be a better choice, a better person. She liked this afterlife. She lived in a place with all her favorite things created for her by the one person who, no matter what, had always chose her, had always loved her and always put her first.

Damon was pissed at her acceptance, at the lack of fight but in a way he understood because he didn't really want to fight himself. By all accounts he didn't deserve this afterlife he'd been given. It was sheer happenstance that he'd managed to basically hijack it because he was holding Bonnie's hand. He should've been with Katherine in hell or in a dark oblivion with Silas but he was in paradise with Bonnie Bennett, the most selfless person he'd ever met in his entire life. She deserved this, he didn't and yet he was there with her, not alone in the dark or the fire. So after multiple dead ends and finding literally nothing on how to get back to his loved ones he just stopped. One day, he just decided that he had an opportunity to finally have some peace, undeserved however it was, he had it so why waste it? Stefan would understand. He'd make the same choice as Damon, he'd make it a lot sooner actually just because he knew Bonnie wouldn't leave and he wouldn't want to leave her alone. Truth was Damon didn't want to leave her either. Elena might be hurt but really she'd move on. Damon knew she could, he knew what she denied: they wouldn't have worked out in the end and they would've probably ended up hating each other. They weren't all rainbows and butterflies, they were toxic and everything the other didn't need and they held on because they loved each other and didn't care for each other's faults but that's what undid them. They needed to be with people who recognized their faults and told them when they were wrong, they needed to be with people who inspired them to be better versions of themselves for themselves, not for other people. They didn't do any of that, they raked and rated each other, they destroyed each other and used sex as a means to try and tape over the cracks but the cracks were never sealed. The sex was hot and he loved it, he was a willing participant in it but that was the basis of their relationship which wasn't a good thing and if none of this happened they would still be stuck in the cycle of breaking apart only to come together and destroy each other and break apart again. It was a viscous cycle that he final got a reprieve from and being with Bonnie Bennett nearly 24/7 did not hurt at all.

She was so different from Elena, he'd always known that and had actually come to appreciate it. She was different from every other woman in his life in that she didn't let him get away with his shit. Sometimes she understood it and she let it go but she didn't condone it and she didn't just forgive him for it but she was able to move pass it and that's more than anyone, other than Stefan, had ever done. Elena just let it go and justified it and he hated it but didn't really stop her from doing it, Caroline hated him for his actions towards her and others she cared for but she didn't really call him out for the things he'd done other than some snarky comments here and there, Stefan tried to get him to be better through lectures which is the same as what Bonnie had done but the difference was Stefan knew what Damon could be, Bonnie spoke out against his shit with no expectation that he could or would do better, she didn't reward him when he did do something he should have done anyway she just accepted it and filed it away in her brain, she observed his actions as a whole and then made her judgment. Being alone together he couldn't do much damage to anything other than her and some trees every now and again but she watched his mentality shift for the better. No longer was he the Damon she abhorred, she saw better in him. He was no saint and he never would be but that was okay because he was better but still him. He was still annoying and snarky and sarcastic and an ass but he was calmer, a bit more rational, gave a bit more thought to things she said in regards to other people, wasn't as insensitive. As weird as it was to say, being dead did them both some good.

The first time they kissed was a year after they'd been gone. It was raining, it was the first time it had rained in their time in paradise. They'd quickly learned that there were seasons because Bonnie loved every season, she didn't have a favorite. When they arrived it was the tail end of fall in this world so no rain, then there was winter. It snowed a lot, Bonnie loved snow and she learned Damon did too. They had had a couple snow ball fights and Bonnie found a sled to mess around with. Damon kept knocking down her snowman but finally she managed to finish it with his help. Spring brought her favorite flowers: daisies, Casablanca lilies, sunflowers, tulips, lavender and wildflowers. Animals frolicked around her, her Grams made the habitat perfect, the animals just sort of appeared out of nowhere one day to add to the spring effect but Bonnie casted a spell so they would stay all year round. She would be sat there in her sundress with deer, rabbits, squirrels, birds, foxes, raccoon and other woodland creatures darting in and out of her garden or some just settling in the grass with her. She sat among the flowers for hours staring at the sky. There were no bees because Bonnie was allergic (not that she thought it mattered what with her being dead but her Grams remembered these things and that warmed her heart) the flowers just grew. She didn't know that Damon would watch her from the cabin window in all her Snow White-esque glory, this girl who he vowed to protect long before she was born, the girl who he let die under his nose, who he worked so hard to bring back to life and now she was dead again but he was with her, she wasn't alone this time. She was happy and he didn't feel like such a failure now that he saw her content. Summer hit but it wasn't overly hot, it was nice. The temperature didn't rise above 90 and passed by pretty quickly with days spent by a waterfall which fell into a lake and nights spent in the cabin in the cool atmosphere the central air conditioner created.

Then fall came. It was Damon's favorite season. Leaves blew on the ground covering it with warm shades of red, orange and yellow. The fog misted over the ground constantly, Damon kept using it to scare Bonnie. She couldn't give him aneurysms because even though they were dead he was human now and she didn't want to risk what would happen if he died seeing as how he was an anomaly in her world so after a while of this she started to only cook for one as punishment and let him cook for himself, it kind of backfired because he was a better cook than her but whatever. On one such night when Damon had once again scared her she had been pissed off because the food she was cooking had burned due to an incident with a stag getting into the house and trashing the living room and then she had to clean up the mess because Damon was off doing god knows what. The glass had cut her fingers more times than she cared to count and since dinner burned she resorted to just making a sandwich from cold-cuts which sucked because she had been preparing this meal since the day before, she wanted it to be a surprised for Damon. It was Damon's birthday and she had wanted to do something nice. It wasn't like there were shopping malls. Anything Bonnie needed was just sort of there and replenished itself but they were things specific to Bonnie not Damon, so she had thought perhaps she could cook his favorite meal. She had the things she needed to prepare it at any rate. Then as she was making the sandwiches for them Damon had snuck up on her and scared her, causing her to drop the cold-cuts on the floor which she freaked out unnecessarily about and then stormed out of the house.

She was only outside for about five minutes before it started raining, hard. She loved hard rain, the sound it made on the window panes and shutters could sooth her to sleep but she didn't like being caught in the rain. That wasn't fun at all but she didn't want to go back just yet and end up starting another fight with Damon just because she had had a bad day. It wasn't long before he came out looking for her.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing out here!? Get back to the cabin, Bonnie!" He yelled at her over the downpour and the thunder. She was just standing in the middle of her garden.

"I don't want to!"

"Bonnie, look I'm sorry I scared you! I didn't think it was that big of a deal, let's just get back! You'll catch your death out here!" The little joke kind of had her chuckling a bit but she ultimately let him take her back to the cabin where the two stopped in the dark hallway. Damon went off and came back with a blanket that he placed around her shoulders to help dry her off.

"Why are the lights off?" She asked him.

"Power went out a few minutes after the rain started, I decided to go look for you after that. Didn't think a harmless joke would have you running off. You're dead judgy, PMS shouldn't be an issue anymore." She gave him a look after that comment to which he smirked at. She looked down a bit sheepishly which he just barely made out due in part to some lightening that had flash.

"I… I wanted to make you dinner."

"You make dinner half the time, what's so special about you making dinner?" He asked with confusion.

"Because it's your birthday today and I wanted to make your favorites because it's not like I can buy a hallmark card and get you a gift from the mall. I just wanted to do that for you but then a stupid deer got in and I had to clean up and then I forgot about the food and it burned so I decided to make sandwiches but it wouldn't have been the same, it wouldn't have—"

"You were doing something for me for my birthday?" He asked her in a tone of voice that stopped her rambling, it stopped her speech altogether. She looked up at him and could clearly see his ice blue eyes in the darkness. She could always see his eyes, she was more aware of them than ever what with being alone with him. Maybe that was part of the reason she was so frustrated. In the living world they could use other people as a buffer between them to stay away from each other now there was no one to hide behind and it made her feel so vulnerable and angry at that vulnerability and afraid of what she was giving him the power to do to her. She was giving him the power to break her but instead of pulling away like she previously had she silently nodded her head, she knew he could see it. She wasn't even sure how it happened. One minute they were staring at each other, unsaid feelings swimming in their eyes and then the next moment his lips were pressed against her own. They were both cold and wet but the kissed seemed to warm her right up. She was the one who deepened the kiss, the one who pushed her tongue against his and pushed her fingers in his hair before he had relaxed and embraced her just as fiercely. That was also the first time he slept in the same bed as her. They just slept, they didn't do anything more intimate until much later but that was the official turning point in their relationship. From then on out they didn't mind being together in paradise. She was still judgy and still gave him looks and lectures and didn't tolerate his shit and he was still Damon the sarcastic asshole but they had each other, they were together in something that was in a way purer that anything else they'd ever had but sexier too.

So when they were sucked from paradise and inexplicably plopped back into Mystic Falls facing the lost loves they'd left behind they were at a loss at first. It was easier with Jeremy. He knew something was off with Bonnie, especially the way she looked at Damon and truthfully he hadn't been as unflinchingly faithful as the others thought he had. There was someone else who he really liked and could see himself falling in love with but Bonnie had always left this huge question mark in his life much like Anna had and now that she was back he knew that they were done. They hadn't had that same connection for quite some time now, they were different people in different places in their lives now. They'd always have their memories but they were fine just being friends and pursuing other people. Elena was a whole different ball game.

She'd basically been obsessed with bringing Damon back, went mad with the need to do it. She'd accepted his death in one way but then finding out there was a chance to bring him back had put her right back in that loop of madness. The warlock who brought them back was not the most savory character and in the midst of bringing back Damon and Bonnie, Stefan had been the one to suffer for it. The warlock used him as a link to Damon. Bonnie wasn't even going to be brought back, they found out later. Stefan was related to Damon by blood so they could use some dark witchy voodoo to drag Damon's soul back to the land of the living using that blood bond. Bonnie had been holding Damon's hand at the time, much like he had been holding hers all those years ago, so she was dragged back too. They really were back in the land of the living, Damon was a vampire again and fortunately Bonnie was a witch and not the anchor to the other side but as a result of the spell Stefan's immortality was zapped from him and given to the warlock and Stefan was now a frail human. He didn't seem to be going through what Katherine did, though it was a bit too soon to tell but when he turned human he reverted to exactly what he was before he turned: a seventeen year old boy shot by his father.

They had rushed him to the hospital and just managed to save his life through hours and hours of operations to remove the bullet and all the shrapnel. Elena had been trying her best to get close to Damon again but she wasn't an idiot she felt his disconnection from her and most of the time he just politely brushed her off in favor of going to stay with Stefan at the hospital. That hurt more than if he had out-rightly just told her off and swatted her away like she was a fly. She tried to spend time with Bonnie but there was a disconnection there too, she could see that Bonnie was not very happy being in a room alone with her and their conversations were stunted and awkward. She knew she broke up with Jeremy just days after coming back but really why would that make Bonnie so awkward around her? Enzo kept flashing Bonnie knowing smirks which the witch gave him warning looks in response to and Elena had no idea of its meaning. Even Jeremy seemed to know something she didn't and she wanted to know what it was already but she had no such luck as of yet. She couldn't even ask Caroline because the blonde didn't leave Stefan's bedside. Bonnie had to go to the hospital to see her and then she didn't return for some days, not even returning Elena's calls. When she finally did reach her she just said she was catching up with Caroline and watching over Stefan with Damon. There was a tone in her voice when she said Damon's name which momentarily caught Elena off guard and made her speculate crazy things, outrageous things, ludicrous things because surely they wouldn't... would they? She looked up then and Enzo was smirked at her again. He looked at her with amusement in her eyes before he picked up his drink and walked out the room. She shook her head, no they wouldn't. They just wouldn't do that to her. Not to her.

Back at the hospital Bonnie watched Damon talking to Stefan through the glass door of the younger Salvatore's hospital room. When Bonnie first saw Stefan she was struck by how young he looked. The truth was that he was a boy, he was a teenager. He was over 160 years old but he was still 17, he was younger than her and Elena and even Jeremy at this point, and he never looked more 17 then when she came and he was lying in a hospital bed pale and gaunt and hooked up to all manner of machines looking smaller than she'd ever seen him. She had embraced Caroline and the two had talked while Damon's eyes never strayed from his brother. She knew he felt like something was just gone from the both of them. The peace of their world had been shattered in an abrupt and traumatic way but he was happy to be with Stefan again, she could see it in his eyes and the way he stared at him. Her eyes kept flickering to him during her conversation with Caroline but the blonde was so distraught she didn't really notice, at least Bonnie didn't think she did. Stefan had woken up a little while ago. Caroline had gone to get some coffee for them all while Damon had a private reunion with Stefan. Bonnie watched tears falling from Stefan's eyes and Damon wiped them away while his other hand brushed through Stefan's hair before he leaned down and kissed Stefan's forehead before hugging him. Bonnie never saw him show that much affection to anyone but her and it warmed her to know that that wasn't just something he was doing because he had to, because there was no one around to see him be vulnerable and to see him love.

"He missed him." She heard behind her. She turned to see Caroline holding the cup holder with three cups in it. She passed Bonnie one to which she sipped on gratefully.

"Stefan, he missed Damon so much. Every single day he'd spend at least 30 minutes in Damon's room, just laying on the bed and looking through pictures, boxes, old journal entries, just anything to make it feel like he was still there in some way. Elena didn't understand. She couldn't deal with the memories when she lost her brother and Stefan immersed himself them when he lost his. I didn't blame him or stop him. I spent at least an hour at your house everyday just… reminiscing." Bonnie's eyes welled with tears a bit.

"You have no idea how much I missed you, Caroline."

"I think I do actually." Caroline replied with a slightly jokey smile, Bonnie smiled back at her.

"Yeah, I guess you do but I still missed you a lot."

"I bet you did but you weren't alone." She said, nodding towards Damon.

"Yeah, I wasn't alone." Bonnie didn't really realize she had zoned out a bit and was just staring into space with a smile on her face.

"I thought so." She snapped her attention back to Caroline with question in her eyes.

"Thought what?"

"You and Damon." She answered simply.

"I… we…. I mean, we're just-"

"It's okay. I mean it's kind of weird for me because you guys, well you didn't hate each other but you weren't the best of friends last time I saw you but a lot can change in four years. Especially when you're alone together so often, I know that better than most." She said giving Stefan an adoring smile of her own before she continued.

"And you really get to know each other behind the masks and behind the facades. You're you, I'm sure you saw something in him that made you believe he was worth it, that he was worth you giving him a chance."

"I know that things between you and Damon aren't great, Care."

"They aren't but he apologized to me for what he did to me all those years ago. He never did before, not when he was with Elena that's for sure. I accepted his apology, I don't fully forgive him but I accepted the apology. He would have never done it if you two hadn't spent so much time together. You're good for him and he's obviously not so bad on you. You look great, you look happy and not Elena's definition of happy as being happy enough but you look well and truly happy and so I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be? My best friend's back, my boyfriend's not dead and he's happy because his brother isn't dead, everything will be just fine. Stop worrying about other things, just be happy."

Just then Damon walked out of the room looking more serene then he had since they had come back to life.

"He's asking for you Caroline." The blonde smiled a bit at him and moved to hug Bonnie tightly.

"Caroline, I just came back to life. We wouldn't want you to crush me to death." She choked out around the crushing hold her best friend had on her. Caroline pulled back, holding one hand to Bonnie's face lovingly.

"I'm so glad you're back. The both of you really." Caroline said before kissing Bonnie's cheek and walking back to Stefan. Bonnie watched her for a moment before she felt Damon's hand weave it's way into hers.

"How exactly did you two go?" Bonnie asked, watching Caroline lean down to kiss Stefan before Bonnie turned to Damon.

"It went good. We talked about things we should have a long time ago and I told I loved him, I actually said it and he said it back and we're just… okay."

"Stefan's going to need you now more than ever."

"I know and I'll be here for him like I haven't been in the past." He said with a slight nod of determination before finally turning his whole body to face her.

"I thought me and you could go back yours. We could maybe get a shower, preferably together, and get some rest before coming back tomorrow morning." He said while pulling her other hand in his as well.

"Shower together? Well that's a bit presumptuous isn't it, Mr. Salvatore?"

"Is it really, Mrs Salvatore? We haven't exactly been alone since we got back."

"Is it Mrs. Salvatore? Because It was just us, no ring, no officiator and no witnesses, just us saying vows and sealing it with a kiss." Bonnie said contemplatively.

"Isn't that just what a wedding is?" He retorted.

"I think you're just trying to be cheap." Bonnie replied in jest.

"Well, if we got married here Caroline would plan it and I'd have gotten married to the ball of white and pink taffeta that had unfortunately swallowed my bride-to-be." Bonnie giggled at that because she could just picture the lavish affair Caroline would have planned for them. It would be everything Bonnie didn't want but she also wanted that. She wanted to be able to stand in front of their loved ones and take her vows with the man she loved.

"I still think you're just trying to be cheap or maybe you don't want to wear a ring so you can still flirt with the ladies, I'm sure they've missed you a lot more than you've missed them."

"While I am not going to discount that last theory, speaking of rings…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out an old ring box. It was white and dusty and moth bitten, very old indeed. He popped it open and the ring inside looked pristine. It was simple white gold with a single diamond but had two roses ingrained on either side of the gleaming diamond.

"It was my mother's, I've had it stashed away in my room for who knows how long and I knew as soon as we got back I would give it to you. I had it cleaned and resized, I just needed to find the time and now that we're alone…" He lifted her hand up before pushing the ring onto her slight finger. It fit her perfectly and Bonnie looked down a bit with embarrassment at the tears that started slipping down her cheeks. She felt him rest his forehead against her own and his hand reached up and gently wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"I love you." He told her with clear conviction in his voice, it didn't waver at all. She had, of course, been worried that now that they were back and Elena was here that things would change but here he was reaffirming his love to her and his promise of forever and she couldn't help but close her eyes and take it all in: his breath mingling with hers, his forehead against hers, his messy hair dusting against her short do, his hand holding hers just as they were at the beginning of their new beginning and at the end of their private paradise. But was their paradise really gone? She still had him, she still had their memories and they were together, maybe paradise wasn't a place but a person. Maybe paradise had always been him.

"I love you too, Damon." She replied with a smile clear in her voice and the same conviction he had. They could face whatever was coming next: Elena, the evil warlock, human Stefan, they could face it all and they could do it together.


End file.
